i need more teeth pulled. I feel like #bigfail. I feel unattractive. Bug LOLed last time I talked about this. The man of my dreams shouldn’t care, right? Why do I care about TMOMD caring? Ugh. Great womanist I am.

I hate SNL. I hate how Keenan is allowed to be on the show, when there are funnier tokens out there. I hate Armisen on GP, for all of the brown- and blackface. I hate that WOC can’t seem to make it (outside of Maya and….? Anyone?) on this show that opens so many doors for comedians.

I HATE how the players, even the C-listers, will get at least ONE movie out of their miserable tenure. I hate that the show I used to sneak to stay up and watch puts me to sleep now that I’m grown.

I truly, though, deeply, abhor the racism, ableism, sexism and prejudices that pass for funny nowadays. Go away, SNL. Or Lorne, let someone else take the helm.

precious wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be. Definitely issued and problematic, but not a total suckfest. More when I can actually type on a real keyboard.

^Airport Joy.^

why does the large family sit next to me at the airport? It never fails. I see lots of seats 10 feet away, but noooooo! Sit next to the lone Black girl. Now when someone starts acting up, I have to move. Unfair.

Okay, I woke up with the migraine. Thought it was hangover, but hydrated myself, did the caffeine thing, and ate several times today. Nausea set in around lunchtime, ate light (Japanese) but no cessation. Started meds at 1:15, took more @5, will take another now.

Don’t know what the triggers may be (tequila?) other than stress. But that isht ain’t going away for a couple of months. It’s called work/grad school apps/living with mean parent/church hypocrisy.

WERD UP.

I am not here to add too much speculation to the McNair tragedy. In fact, I have nothing but the deepest sympathy for his widow and four young men who are now bewildered, hurt, and angry. I am angry for them, but my anger is bigger than that.

I am angry because, but for the grace of God, I could have had a similar catastrophe in my life. My dad cheated on my mom for years. She didn’t know it (maybe) and his family kept it from her (and me, eventually) after a child resulted from the affair. I have a sister who grew up parallel to me, whom I did not meet until the inevitable lawsuit for past child support.

For what? Convenient sex? Different sex? “Companionship”?! WTH?! I am so tired of the tropes of “man only thinks with his penis” or “powerful men have powerful hungers.” I call bull! We all have hungers, some more powerful than others, but WE. MAKE. EFFING. CHOICES. Every day I drive and don’t ram a slower driver’s car, I made a choice! I want. BELIEVE ME, I want to, so badly, every DAY. To cuss the living daylights out of bad drivers, cops who pull folks over, BUT I DON’T. Because I understand consequences.

And I’m tired of married people acting invincible and entitled and just so damn selfishly that they can’t foresee something like the horror the McNairs and the woman’s family are going through now. Stop being jerks! Ugh!

I can’t even be coherent about how betrayed I feel. I now hate some people I used to love. Literally. I worked for them, sacrificed for them, and got treated like shit for them.

Then they shat on me.

I was warned. I knew some betrayal, in smaller senses, had occured previously. I’m not that naive.

But THIS.

Wow. When your own people eff you up and eff with your money. Wow. Yep, it’s that raw. I have screamed. I haven’t cried, but that is coming. I truly hate them, now. And I try not to hate too many people. I don’t want to burn in Hell, after all.

Ungrateful wretches. Plankton is more useful than they are/were.

Eff you, too. That’s all I’m left with. Literally. They are dead to me. They will be erased from my life.

I hate when I have to go into bitch mode. Oh, well. Buckle up, buttercups.

I’m in sexual assault peer counseling training, w/idiots who didn’t ask ?s of speakers, waited til they left, then asked staff. DUH! Now they’re whining about not wanting to be SA peer counselors. You don’t HAVE to! Do shelter, outreach, DV, whatever! How do you NOT know what you’re getting into? Huh? Did you NOT fill in application?! Argh! Don’t make me regret this Saturday afternoon.

I’ve been decrying Fred Armisen as Barack Obama since he first decided to go blackface to do it. Never mind that he sucked. Or that Maya Rudolph came back to do Michelle and didn’t put on darker makeup. The blackface just added that certain “ew, SNL has just about tanked” feel to the season. So, I stopped watching. No big, since my viewing has been spotty since Phil Hartman (RIP) left. It just doesn’t rise to its former heights, and it probably never will.

The comments in the EW article, will, of course, make you want to slap someone, but hey! Diversity of thought matters, too, right?

At least others are finally speaking out!! h/t to SeeLight.